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SonG for The Vanity of Life


Sometimes, I think that life is not really fair, but that’s gonna be really hard to look forward for everything I’ve passed by. I have been walking for years by myself, without someone who really understands me at all. All the joys I reveal, those are fakeness of my life. I hate all of them who are pretending to be the nice one but actually, they’re just disgusting creatures I have met ever. What should I do? Grab my own soul without the consolation of God? I won’t do that, though slightly in my mind. I just wanna share these pains with people out there. Life is beautifully hard…is it true babe?
Finally, I found you here, yes…here in my blood, my heart, and go through in my fuckin’ damn soul. I just can’t believe everything that I see in my years of life. Love is silly thing that I worship for. Gosh, it blinds me with the light. For many times, I lost them, the A, B, C and so forth. For my goodness, those are not really irrational. All the eyes that see me, all the light that flare me, and all the trials that push me far from love. I promise I hate them all. The humiliation of love that I got, I swear I really curse them all. I don’t have any idea what actually I write in. I pour up the letters which have been hiding in my brain all years.
I admire someone who never seen me before. I am hurting through the letters that I type for him in every single day of my breath. I smile at the sun for him, I cry at the moon for him. Counting the pendulum swing without blinking my eyes just for him is a wonderful moment of my life. Crying out loud when he doesn’t hear my whispered tears is sucking thing. There will be no happy ending for my story but I really wished he could sleep here right beside my last grave. The last thing that he should remember about is just rest in peace with my lonely heart.
_RHeA_
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Ini teNtaNg Rhea......

Aku ingin sekali pergi ke sebuah tempat di mana aku tidak akan pernah bertemu dengan semua orang tapi itu bukan mati. Karena waktuku terus berputar dan berputar walaupun aku telah mencoba untuk memutarbalikkan keadaan dalam keputusasaan. Kisahku akan berakhir tapi bukan sekarang.

Sekarang bukan waktunya menyalahkan siapapun atau apapun. Mungkin, aku sendiri yang harus disalahkan atas semua yang terjadi. Hari ini, rasanya aku ingin mati lagi, tapi aku tidak sanggup lagi memikirkan cara apalagi untuk bunuh diri. Pergi jauh dari semua manusia-manusia keparat dengan mendongakkan kepala dan menertawakan mereka, hingga aku bisa menangis bahagia. Kadang aku membayangkan, memikirkan dan merencanakan untuk membunuh semua orang yang bisa mengancam kebahagiaanku. Keparat, bangsat, peduli setaN...dengan semua kemanisan dan cinta yang telah membuatku merana. Aku hanya menunggu saatnya tiba, itu saja.
~RHEA~
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My First BloG...!!

(pake komputer kantor no 9, nge-net all the day)

Akhirnya, aku punya blog he...he...Bingung arep nulis opo, biasanya kalo udah ada ide, pasti banyak yang bisa ditulis tapi......kali ini mau coba-coba dulu aja deh! Kepalaku agak sedikit pening karena berkutat terlalu lama di depan komputer, apa jangan-jangan ketakutanku emang benar, minusku nambah. Ups, nambah lagi-nambah lagi. Karena udah kerja, hampir sebagian besar waktuku dihabiskan di kantor dan depan komputer kagak ada waktu untuk nge-gaul. Setelah kejar deadline akhirnya majalah siap cetak, rapat redaksi dan aku didaulat untuk ngrangkep jadi penyelaras bahasa. Aku kudu belajar jurnalistik lebih mendalam coz tanggung jawab moral ma Alloh, me myself and pemimpin redaksi. Ngga enak banget, udah di kasih amanah kok ngga do the best. Kalo kerja ngecawain amanah orang, yah sama aja boong dung!

Banyak orang yang aku rindukan hari ini; Kampus FIB UGM specially English class 2002, Bon-bin, Rina ( my bestmate, I love U all the way), Nia (Miss Ur Chirpy talks and careness), Lilin (I'm sorry, though I can't attend ur Big day, just trust me my heart will be there), Mita (I miss Ur calmness and wildness also), ViVi (I miss our silly and crazy behaviors all time), Nuri (gosh, I miss U damn much...You're just great)
DanK, inget-inget jangan nge-blog trus, ayo lanjutin kerjaannya....
Buat temen-temen yang knal ma aku, I Lop u all
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